Lesson #2: Ask for More Money

Posted in Life Lessons, Personal by Girl Friday

Women are statistically less likely than their male counterparts to negotiate wages when offered a new job. Why? Because it’s not “nice” or “polite.” This social norm prolongs the unfair wage distribution between sexes, all because ladies think they should be grateful to have work (despite producing results equal to men’s but making up to thousands less to do so).

I’ve done this only once – negotiated my pay after a job offer. Was it scary? Of course! But the worst that could happen would be them saying “no” and rescinding the offer. But what could be the best outcome? They say “yes” and I’d earn more. And reality would probably exist between those two poles (which is exactly what happened).

This experience truly changed the way I thought about my work life. Instead of thinking that my employer got me for a song (one of the reasons I left my previous position), I knew I would be taken seriously, that my time and efforts would be valued. I still work in the non-profit world (woo, arts and humanities!) so I’m far from being a millionaire, but I’m slightly better off because I asked for more.

Have you asked for more money? Did it work or backfire? If you haven’t asked for more, why not?

9Dec2015

Lesson #1: Wear (Red) Lipstick.

Posted in Beauty, Fashion by Girl Friday

Bam. I’m throwing it out there as my very first lesson learned. Wear red lipstick.

Are you asking me why? Well. Here’s my reason.

This is my huge confession: I feel like a huge fraud half of my life. Despite having this blog and being an amateur blogger, I have a lot of days that I don’t think I dress well or interestingly enough to warrant doing this. I fumble through putting on makeup. And forget about hair: you really do not want to see me try to using a curling iron. I feel like the least naturally girly person in existence.

But for some reason, I swipe on some red lipstick and I feel like I hit the self-esteem lottery: suddenly I have my act together and I’m a bonafide lady-boss. It takes two seconds and makes me suddenly feel like I can handle my shit.

The first time I wore lipstick was my 28th birthday. I worked a job with a not-nice person who made me cry regularly, it was cold and I decided to wear the biggest, reddest hue possible because, well, it was my birthday! On your birthday, you can do whatever you want! That day, every single lady in the office commented on how much they loved it, and (what I found more interesting) how they wished they could pull it off. I adored the attention and conversation it brought up, but also, how people thought I was confident and daring. There was some weird symbiotic magic that they thought I was brave, so I became suddenly it.

Six weeks after that fateful birthday, I dared to wear that same bold lip to my interview for my museum gig. Not that it scored me my job, but I did have several people comment after I started how memorable I was because of it. Now it’s like my trademark there — I can’t get enough! I wouldn’t say wearing red lipstick changed my life, but, well, it kind of did in a way.

So, my non-lipstick-wearing-loves, try it: find a shade — red, orange (DO IT!), purple, coral — and do it one day. See how you feel. Does it make you feel invincible? Or do you hate the attention it warrants?

8Dec2015

T-Minus One Month: Birthday

Posted in Life Lessons, Personal by Girl Friday

I know, I know, dear ones, I keep disappearing. For that, I apologize. To make up for it, I’m planning on spending the next month regaling you with the top lessons I’ve learned in my “adult life” (HA!) before I turn 30. I’m endeavoring to thematically mix it up: fashion, professional, personal, etc. Some days will be quick anecdotes, others more intellectual thoughts — please feel free to drop in and read up.

Love y’all for joining me on this ride!

12Nov2015

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Posted in Fashion, Personal by Girl Friday

Hi, friends!

I’ve taken a bit of sabbatical from the blog (two weeks!), but trust me, I’ve been thinking about this place every day since my last write-up!

We’ve been having weird weather the past few weeks in New England: warm, balmy, comfortable. While I know it probably signals the reality of global warming, I can’t help but admit the fact that I love the nice days! They’ve been entirely livable for someone who is bitterly cold once winter hits, to the extent that B and I often joke I’m reptilian: my body temperature is dictated by the outside world.

With that all said, I was able to wear this adorable outfit to a recent networking event put on by a local library.

Let me set the record straight: I’m a huge dork who hates hate HATES networking. Like. Pit in my stomach and about to wretch at the idea of having to do something like meet and engage with strangers. I would rather be at home with my books thankyouverymuch. But I’ve promised myself that I would stretch myself beyond my comfort zone this year and make friends who weren’t, like, Anna Karenina and Vronsky. And what better place than a library networking event!

Dress: TJ Maxx

Cardigan: LOFT

Shoes: TOMS

Bag: TOMS

Belt: H&M

Watch: Fossil

Necklace: Homemade!

I was super nervous at the prospect of having to socialize and be normal with people I didn’t know in a context I wasn’t used to (neurotic!), so I made sure that I wore an out that was comfortable, pretty and totally me. I really loved the bright white paired with earthy browns — the cardigan, belt, shoes, and jasper necklace — because I think they balanced each other nicely. I also pulled out this bag — one I’ve had for years — because the brown leather paired nicely, but the yellow and green fabric popped. It also allowed me to pattern mix with not two but three parts of my outfit: the larger, linear lines of the dress; the smaller, softer, repetitive arches of the bag; and the small, organic leopard print in the shoes. A super simple outfit to throw together, but one that, I thought, had some nice depth and subtlety to it.

I liked the outfit enough that I made B bring the camera with him to take outside photos! It was breezy, but temperate. We were able to laugh and goof around, putting me in a more comfortable mood before schmoozing. In our adventures, B tried out an intense version of downward dog with his newly operated knee!

After this second round of photos, we ambled over to the networking event, warm and happy, and had a great time! It was awesome to meet new people in the city, connect with some other folks I’d met recently at a book club get-together, and check out a hip new hotel in town (where the event was being held). By the end of the night, my cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing — and I didn’t even partake in the wine!

As I’m approaching 30 (two months!), I’ve really been considering how I live my life, especially habits that I like that are healthy versus ones I really should rethink. If you haven’t gathered yet from this post (and you don’t even need close reading skills for that one!), I can be totally anxious, neurotic and nervous in social situations; this was a certainly an exercise of “faking it” by putting myself into a good place before I had to face something scary and uncomfortable and, in the end, I totally “made it!” I learned how valuable laughing and smiling on the outside can be to actually feeling better on the inside. Lesson learned for the future, especially the next library event in a week!

29Oct2015

Stitch Fix #10 Review

Posted in Fashion, Stitch Fix by Girl Friday

Number 5 with Alessandra — while not exactly right, I’m still pleased for two new additions!

For this fix, as I’m about to head into the cold months of November and December, I asked for some lightweight sweaters with fun details (lace overlay, button-backs, etc.), as well as a “bum-covering jacket” and a pencil skirt with thicker material. Alessandra was awesome on delivering what I asked for, which I so entirely appreciate; I’m not disappointed that everything didn’t work because I know I’m being heard at least. (My first handful of fixes were messes pretty much — including the one where I sent a scathing email to the company!)

Item #1: Brixon Ivy’s Fierro Elbow Patch Crew Neck Sweater ($58)

I won’t lie: I peek at the listing of what’s coming in my fix before it arrives! This was the one item that I was excited about: it looked cute with a touch of whimsy.

When it arrived, it was the first item I tried on. While I wish it were cream instead of grey, I couldn’t resist the sweet lace embellishments. It’s a little longer that I like, but I like it with a pair of jeans, vest and flats. With the weather turning even cooler quickly, I know I’ll soon switch out those jeans and flats for cords and boots! Kept.

Item #2: Market & Spruce Riga Ponte Jacket ($78)

I couldn’t find a single image of this jacket pre-delivery — so it was a total surprise!

Pretty simply: t’s a lightweight peacoat-type jacket. (Sorry the color is off — it’s navy and not black.) Alessandra sent me a size medium, which unfortunately was a half-size too small for real life. While I can certainly wear a tee or a thin sweater with this, I won’t be able to layer as much as needed in New England. Alas, alack! I do own a similar jacket from H&M in tan, but I know that they do have it in navy as well. Maybe, if I’m feeling a navy jacket, I’ll opt for that? We’ll see. Returned.

Item #3: 41Hawthorn McQue Solid Lace Sleeve Blouse ($48)

I really, really wanted to like this blouse. I’ve been looking for a flirty navy blouse for a couple of months and hadn’t found the right one just yet.

When I pulled this out of the box, I thought it was the one. Lace sleeves! Button in the back! Swoon! But. Alas. I put it on — and saw right through it (there’s no no give in the bust area for me, so it really highlighted what it should have hidden). The material is a touch scratchy too. Such a bummer. It’s definitely a pretty shirt, but I don’t think it’s right for fully-chested ladies. Seeing this on other reviewers’ sites, I know it’s a hit for them, but they’re generally not as curvy as I am. Returned.

Item #4: Renee C Alondra Ruched Pencil Skirt ($58)

I’ll admit that I like this skirt a lot better in the photo than I did in real life. Maybe it’s because I asked for a bottom with thicker material and this one is awfully thin. Or maybe because it’s grey and I specified wanting to avoid grey in my fixes. Or maybe it’s the ruched style AND stripes wrapping around the fullest part of my body. I tried it on, and quickly took it off. I felt like an ice cream cone. Returned.

Item #5: 41Hawthorn Presley Colorblock Button-Back Sweater ($68)

The anomaly of this fix. When I saw that I was getting this sweater, I was slightly disappointed. I don’t like colorblocking generally and most of the reviews showed a yellow/grey or pink/cream mix — alright, but not great.

When I opened my fix, I was surprised and intrigued: I really liked the plum/pinky mix of this top. They’re not colors I would have chosen for myself, but that’s refreshing about Stitch Fix! I was always endeared to the sweater because it’s so soft! I was expecting something a little scratchy for some reason, but was happily delighted by the lovely feel of this piece.

I hemmed and hawed for a bit, but I decided to keep it in the end. It’s just beyond my comfort zone without being outrageous. Kept.

Overall: Two out of three — not too bad! I kept two sweaters, what I wanted and needed more than anything else. I wasn’t head over heels in love, but, then again, I hate winter dressing anyway, so it has to be summer manifested in a box to make me happy once the weather goes cold.