Radio Silence

At the end of the theatre season in June, I promised myself that I would return to this blog, come back to exploring fashion and clothes in the everyday.

Then Orlando happened. Then Alton Sterling… Philando Castile… Dallas… Nice…

How do I make myself sit down and write about something as silly and vapid as clothing when this world is terrifying and unjust and cruel? By writing this blog, am I ignoring the larger conversations happening in the US or across the globe? Why bother to carry on with this when there’s so much more to focus on?

I had a conversation with a friend the other day. While she’s heavily involved in a lot of self-care practices (acupuncture, therapeutic massage, chiropractics), she’s recently started a yoga/mindful movement class and has been absorbing so much if the ideology taught by her teacher. Recently in a class, the teacher explained to her class that the best way to heal the world is to start with healing and caring for yourself. My friend mentioned that in passing and I’ve been dwelling on the thought since.

This blog isn’t a protest against the injustice from the world. And I don’t espouse my political thoughts openly and actively here. I don’t rage and scream and rally for something better in this venue. Why? It’s my refuge, my space to think about the frivolous for a while. While it’s bothered me that I would take time and effort to write here, this blog is a means of caring of myself, I guess.

I’m lucky that both my full-time museum-y position and my part-time theatre job allow me ample intellectual space to think about racial tensions in the US, religious conflict in the world, and the overall constant struggle of humanity throughout time. The expectations of my workplaces is that I’m knowledgeable about these themes and histories, have internal and external dialogs daily, and help educate others — children and adults alike. I’m honored to have these roles and responsibilities, but it’s admittedly exhausting to think non-stop about slavery, war, gender roles, gentrification, etc., without a respite. In the half hour it takes me to write a few paragraphs on skirts or lipsticks or shoes and throw in a few images, I get the mental down time to unwind, breathe and gather myself for the next article or book to read, conversation to have, or, simply, the next news story to pop up on my phone.

I’m hoping, friends, that I’ll make more regular appearances here going forward. But please understand if I don’t. And please understand why I’m not having discourse here on larger life issues: it’s not at all you, but entirely me.

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Chasing Summer

As you can see here, I’m not giving into fall pinings just yet! While I may or may not have bought some autumnal clothing recently, those daydreams of tights and booties just aren’t cutting it for the continual 90 degree weather in New England. That’s ok, I’m soaking up every ounce of the summer heat while I can!

I bought these fabulously bright jeans from a local shoppe recently. I was walking past to grab a coffee when I saw that they were on the $20 sale rack. I loved the color, so I figured I’d stop and look at the size at least. Well, they were (roughly) my size, so I thought, “hell, let me try them on then!” Tried them and they fit perfectly — minus the eight inches of additional leg length! But I eyed the original price tag: $128! No way could I pass up awesomely bright jeans that were marked down $108; even after getting them hemmed, I still saved $100 off the original tag!

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Blouse: Old Navy (old)

Tank: Old Navy (old)

Pants: Yoga Jeans by Second Clothing at a local shoppe

Shoes: Toms

Like the jeans story, sometimes the world works in other ways exactly when need it.

On Friday night, B and I went to a gong bath, which is an alternative healing music therapy session. A gong master plays finely crafted gongs for a group of people with the intention that the music and resonance will penetrate your core and — essentially — shake away the bad stuff. We’ve done them a few times and, I’ll say, I always feel great afterward: I sleep deeply and peacefully; my body feels looser; I end up with a better outlook. They’re simply restorative sessions.

What really struck me was the narrative given by the two leaders afterward. One instructed the room that over the next few days, don’t be surprised if the world turns up messages for you in unexpected ways. And the other said, plainly, “You’re all adults: you’re responsible for yourselves, and that included your own happiness. Everyday you’re given the option to be the person you want to be — so do it.” And, well, that’s what the world told me in such large, varied ways.

B and I saw a stunning theatrical rendition of Jane Eyre Saturday night: a woman who goes against social norms and adversity, ultimately finding strength and confidence to be herself, as well finding herself on equal footing with her partner. As an almost-30-year-old, that story line rang pretty true.

Then I attended a long training session for the theatre on customer service skill development. In the crazy way the world works, the session touched upon (at least in how I read it): work/life balance; personal trigger warnings of stress and distress; honoring others’ dignities; reading and communicating with stressed/distressed people effectively; and visualizing your own personal and professional success. Phew!

Finally, I received an email about a meditation seminar happening in October: a two day event for those who have little or no experience with meditation on how to start a practice and use it effectively. I signed up within a day of seeing it!

I know that I complained about some really hard days lately, but I guess the larger universe heard that and answered pretty significantly. I can’t say every problem has been answered, but I’m certainly learning to come at a lot of those dilemmas from a different angle instead.